Organizing for a Deceased Friend or Relative

Losing a loved one is never easy. Neither is parting with their belongings. We tend to believe that their belongings are a piece of them. So, we hold on to them in order to keep the person (and memories) close. 

Frequently, when a person passes away their items are boxed up and sent to relatives- usually their adult children. Oftentimes, when going through their possessions is too painful, the items are stored away in a basement, attic or even a rented storage unit. 

As a Professional Organizer, I am here to ask the tough questions- be honest with yourself, are you keeping their memory alive by storing boxes of their stuff in your basement? Initially, you will want to keep everything from their favorite socks to the contents of their junk drawer.  It is normal and understandable to want to do so. 

Remember the longer we keep things the harder it is to let go. My recommendation is to only keep a few treasures and display them proudly. 

Humans tend to define themselves by their things- our jewelry, cars, clothing etc.  We are not our stuff. Your loved one is not their stuff. 

You do not need to keep everything to remember your loved one. When going through their belongings, keep only the items that mean the most to you. Something that sparks a special memory and/or has profound sentimental value. For example, only keep Grandma’s Hummel collection if you truly have a connection to it. Once you have set aside the items with the most meaning, the rest (assuming it is not wanted or needed by another relative) can be donated, sold or trashed. 

Remember, your loved one is not their stuff. They would not want you to burden yourself with the contents of their household. Once you have chosen the items to keep, display them with pride! Frame meaningful photographs and hang them in a special area of your home. Display their keepsakes on a bookshelf and allow it to be a conversation piece when guests are over. 

By keeping the most precious items and displaying them properly, you can honor their memory and your past.